Ainslie's Travel Adventures

Ainslie Waldron

Veteran Home Exchanger | Travel Author | [hidden email]

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Aug 7th

INSIDE THE STALAG Part 2 of Home Exchange from Hell

 From last episode..........Here we were, stranded in the middle of nowhere.  It was Saturday evening.  All shops closed on Sundays, and no hope of seeing anyone until Monday afternoon!  At least we had wine and hot water, we consoled each other, as Revolta and her family disappeared down the driveway...........

We decided to further explore this house, which was now filled with smoke from the belching fire. Here is what we found:

  • Bathroom drains were blocked, SLUGS appeared on bathroom floor after our first shower which flooded the entire bathroom.
  • Only one lounge chair to sit on and that was very old.
  • Toilets ran with water all the time, unless water turned was off at the main.  Not enough pressure to take a number 2. Toilet bowls very dirty.
  • Cooker antiquated on gas bottle, some rings did not work. Oven filthy and obviously not used for a long time, not game to try.
  • Fridge and freezer disgustingly filthy.
  • No microwave.
  • No toaster.
  • No kettle or hot jug.
  • Only one power point, which ran the fridge and stove.
  • No tea towels or oven mitts.
  • Bed hard, cold, extremely uncomfortable, very old mattress, dipped in the middle, only one bedroom light worked, dampness seemed to permeate from below.
  • Nothing in cupboards, just some very old bottles of alcohol and solidified salt and sugar.
  • Everything was covered in dust and filth.
  • None, other than essential, power points in house.
  • Heat was from fire.  Not much firewood at all. All of our possessions and clothes (which we kept in our suitcases, as we never intended to stay, therefore did not unpack) now smelt of smoke, as the thick smoke from the fire permeated everything in the house.
  • It was warmer outside, than inside.  All windows had shutters, and most of them did not work.  Unable to open windows, and those that did open gave us lots of dead bugs.
  • House was very dark and dingy.
  • No telephone. 
  • No internet.
  • No dishwasher. 
  • No car, no bicycles.
  • Washing machine did not work.  No drier.
  • Hardly any lights, in the house, worked.  Lots of electrical wires were hanging around.
  • Power points which did work, pulled out scarily when we tried to use them. We had to hold them to the wall, in case they came away from the wall.
  • Dishes and glasses in the house were all dirty.
  • A dog was left with us?????  Luckily it disappeared the first night.
  • Crowning glory - even the corkscrew was broken!
  • Even the television was nothing like the promised satellite TV.  It was the oldest television we had ever seen with a remote whose batteries did not work and it had only two stations, both with very poor reception.  The most interesting thing about it, however, was that it only broadcast the bottom half of the screen.  We tried to watch the news in Italian a couple of times and tried to guess which politicians lips (we only saw the bottom half of full faces) we were seeing, or who the legs belonged to in group shots.  We reckon we worked out which were Angela Merkel’s legs compared to the others in the group – the others were all men!

Revolta had said on Saturday, before she disappeared, that she would come on Monday afternoon, and help us with a car.

She did not come on Monday. 

She sent her cousin, who arrived on Monday evening (just as well we had not been sitting in all day, waiting all day for her to come).  Her  cousin arrived, with a can of DOG FOOD for the dog.  What about us?????? No sign of Revolta, or any assistance with finding a car. 

Just as well we had been resourceful. This is what we had done in the meantime......................................

The final Part of Home Exchange from Hell (ESCAPE FROM THE STALAG ) will be posted later this month.

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